A man had a small herd of animals - his livelihood. One day as he was tending to them a young bull broke free having been startled by something. Instinct took over.. he lunged and grabbed its tail, determined not to let it get away.

The bull ran. And so he ran with it.. gripping tighter as he was dragged over stones, through bushes, his feet barely keeping up. His breath grew ragged, his body ached, but still he had to hold on. If he let go he was sure he would lose it forever.

Then suddenly his hands failed him. He hit the ground rolling to a stop in the dirt, too exhausted to move. He lay there bracing himself for the awful sight of his bull disappearing into the horizon.

But when he looked up.. there it was!. Just a few steps away. Calmly grazing, as if nothing had happened.

He had been fighting, suffering, clinging for dear life when all along he could have just let go and walked. ✨

This story captures the futility of unnecessary struggle. Sometimes we convince ourselves that effort is the only thing keeping everything from falling apart, when in reality we are the only ones making it hard. We hold on fearing loss, but often if we just let go, we might realise we were never in danger of losing anything at all.

I find this Buddhist teaching really helpful about tending to the first arrow and how we respond to it (the second arrow).

Imagine you are walking through the forest, and out of nowhere an arrow hits you in the back. It hurts.. a lot. But instead of tending to the wound, you start looking around wildly. Who shot that? Why me? What if there is another one? This isn’t fair! You’re running in circles, getting angrier.. more panicked, making everything worse.

That’s the second arrow. The part we add on top.

The first arrow (the pain, illness, loss, disappointment) is unavoidable. But the second arrow (the mental spiraling, the resistance, the self-judgment) is optional.

Pain is part of life. Suffering though is shaped by our relationship to it. When we pause, tend to the wound, and quiet the mental chatter, something shifts. The suffering starts to dissolve.

Stress and pain aren’t the real problem.. it’s the belief that we shouldn’t be feeling them that makes us suffer. When we stop fighting discomfort, our body and brain actually process it differently. MRI studies show that how we relate to pain can change both physical and emotional suffering dramatically.

A powerful reminder that while we can’t always control what happens, we can shape how we meet it.

The unexpected gifts of pain are often overlooked when we focus solely on getting rid of it. Instead of embracing the pain as part of our experience, we resist it and view it as an enemy that must be eliminated. This resistance is rooted in the belief that healing means the disappearance of symptoms. However, healing is not a final destination but a continuous invitation to remember who we are and to love ourselves in every moment.

When we approach pain with love, we give it a home in our hearts instead of attacking it. We hold it in our vast hearts and embrace it for what it is: a powerful expression of life itself, even if it is unwanted or uncomfortable. Pain is not against us but a frightened part of ourselves that needs love and inclusion. It is a teacher that invites us to be present and to appreciate life in all its forms.

Instead of rushing to label pain as negative and seeking to transcend or obliterate it, we should be kinder towards it and get curious about its fire and ferocity. Pain may hold its own original medicine and teachings of slowness and presence, which we need to acknowledge and honour.
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True healing involves being aligned with 'what is' and embracing the present moment. Presence is the greatest kind of medicine, and it frees us from victimhood. When we stop focusing on getting rid of pain and start embracing it as part of our experience, we open ourselves up to unexpected gifts and deeper healing. So let us bow before our pain and embrace it for as long as it is here, knowing that it may just be what healing actually feels like.

​By acting in the present moment, every action is filled with a sense of attentiveness, thoughtfulness, and love - no matter how trivial the task may seem.

The focus is on the action itself rather than the outcome it produces. The result will naturally follow. 
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This approach holds great spiritual significance and is known as Karma Yoga in the Bhagavad Gita - one of the oldest and most refined spiritual teachings. Karma Yoga emphasises detachment from the fruits of one's actions and is regarded as the path of devoted action.